For the past year or so, Laiken has begged me to be in a beauty pageant. "Toddler and Tiaras" is one of her favorite TV shows. Even though she wanted to do them, I still put it off as long as I could. I love my kids, and I don't really like the idea of them being judged by someone. Hernando High School's TigerFest hosted their first beauty pageant this weekend. Laiken came home from school, and asked to be in it. So I gave in....
During the summer Laiken attended VBS at our church. She had terrible stage fright at the program. Even with 50 other kids on stage with her, she cried the whole time. I was not sure what to expect today. She was amazing. She walked out on stage like a professional. I was so pleased with her performance, and she seemed to be enjoying the whole thing. For crowning, the judges would announce the title, then the girl's name, and then the little girl whose name was called raised her hand. I watched my Laiken's little sweet innocent face, each time a title and little girl's name was called. I could see she was dying to hear her name. It was not called, and yet she kept on smiling. As she walked off stage, I met her in the back. I scooped her up in my arms and she melted, "Mama, I didn't get ANYTHING." My heart broke and she sobbed. I consoled her and gave her a few "you can't always be the winner" speeches. She was ok, and we enjoyed the crafts vendors and games at Tigerfest. We came home and watched a movie. She cried again. I consoled again. This evening I cried. Trey consoled me. It just hurts to know she is hurting. “Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.”