My life

“Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you (Matthew 7:12).”

I believe it is human nature to pass judgements on each other. How easy it is to look at a situation from the outside and make your own interpretations. I see mother's in public being really hard on their little ones and it is so easy to think, "Geez, she is probably mean to that kid all the time. Find some patience!" Then I think of my more challenging days with Jack, and it reminds me that this poor mom could be harsh and unloving. Or she could be an amazing, loving mom who is worn out at then end of a long day. Some people put on an appearance that they have it all together, when in reality everything is hanging by a thread. And there are some who seem to have nothing, no money, small house, dirty kids, and in reality are happy and content with their life that is more held together than yours.

The truth is that we all have our own struggles, and our own triumphs. Our lives are our own. We make choices and we handle situations the best way we know how. There is no one who can truly walk in our shoes and know what it feels like to be someone else. We all do the best we can with the life we are living. Life is an amazing experience.  It is unpredictable and sometimes unforgiving. Your path can change direction without warning. As I grow older, I am learning to let go of regret for things I did and some I was not able to do. I am living in the moment here and now. I wake up each morning with the expectation of greatness. I strive to be an example of the kind of person I want my kids to grow into. I am not perfect, and neither are they. But everyday we grow together.

I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.
Bill Cosby

Super Bowl Sunday!!!

You don't see pictures of Dylan much in my blog. 1. Because he is a hermit. I think the lights in the house burn his eyes or something because he just stays in his room ALL of the time. 2. Because he thinks having his picture made is lame, and knows it will end up on FB or this blog. I say, "Let me take your picture." And this is the face I get, always....

He is holding my newest online recipie creation!! Jalapeno Popper Dip, and let me just say it was AMAZING! I stuffed myself with Super Bowl Party food. The food and the beer are my favorite part of any football game. :)

And I have the Super Bowl to thank for this one too. Did anyone see the "Transformer" commercial that aired multiple times showing the transformers throwing some sort of balls?? Whatever they were throwing must have looked like a baseball piggy bank to Jack. He came out of his room like this crying. He said, "I broke my piggy bank. I was trying to be a transformer and I threw my piggy bank. It broke all over my floor!" All of that was translated by Laiken. I had no clue what he was saying. I didn't even see the commercial. His pain was punishment enough. I told him I was sad about his bank, but proud he came to me and told the truth. Honesty is a big deal with me. Hopefully, it will be with Jack too.

 Brynley, my angel has joined the "your kid is all of a sudden really quiet....WHAT ARE THEY DOING??? club" While I was getting everyone ready to leave the house, Brynley was quietly eating lunch. She was quiet for a really long time, normally she would not sit there without someone in the room. So going to check on her, I find she has stolen the last 2 pieces of Laiken's PB&J. Yes, Brynley was in sammich heaven. After her bath, I was still running around grabbing stuff, and I thought to myself, "Where's Brynley, she is so quiet."  I hear her down the hall. On my way to get her, I find this...

and this...

She was in her room innocently playing with toys when I found her. :)

Quality Time!

 Brynley has been sick for days, and yesterday we went to the doctor to discover she has RSV!! So she was given a few prescriptions for her ear infection and an inhaler for her RSV. And today she is like a new baby! I am so happy she is not suffering like she has been. She feels 100% better.

Laiken has gymnastics on Tuesday evenings, and since Brynley was so sick, I stayed home with her, Jack, and Dylan. Trey took Laiken to gym. He was excited to take her and see her do flips on the beam and bars. He really enjoyed watching her and spending time with her alone. I really enjoyed my time with Jack. We played with his cars for about an hour! He is really funny. And he is really growing up fast, my little man!

Lazy Weekend!

With three out of four kiddos sick this weekend, we were pretty lazy. Our quiet weekend consisted of naps, movie watching, a tiny amount of outside playing, and a little house cleaning.

 I managed to squeeze in time to make this adorable Valentine's shirt for Brynley, Laiken's will be later this week.

We made it to Gracie Bleu's to support Owen's baseball team, and fill up on yummy frozen yogurt.

And I managed to meet my sisters at Brandon's house last night at midnight to wish him a very happy 40th birthday! What's worse than turning 40??? Knowing that all of your neighbor's (and then some) know about it, and having to pull 40+ stakes with attached balloons out of your yard! It's probably a good thing we couldn't locate a spare "old man's" walker to leave by his car!!

BOWS, BOWS, BOWS!! OH MY!!!

I love my job! I really do enjoy what I do, making hairbows. And for anyone who hasn't heard...apparently I am not the only one who loves my bows too. The night of the Hernando Christmas Parade I was contacted by a store wanting to buy mass quantities of my hairbows! These past few weeks I have been a busy bee. This past weekend I fell a little behind (not due to my usual proscrastination) but I was waiting all week on ribbon to come in and only have this weekend to fill a 100+ bow order for the store. I worked until 2 AM last night and woke up and 6 AM to start again. Aside from one small break or two and serving the kids a quick lunch (I practically threw it at them), I decided to stop at 1:30. I text Trey and it went something like this....

Me: I have been working ALL stinkin morning and I am taking a break!
Trey: No breaks babe, got to get it, lol
Me: Oh I'm sorry, what I meant to say was a break from bows, and on to my mommy/slave job. Lunch, laundry, dishes, and picking up.
Trey: lol,lol

Hmmm! I wasn't LOL'ing.  :)

Piglet: How do you spell love?
Pooh: You don't spell it, you feel it.

New Shoes!

I bought Laiken and Jack new shoes today at Hibbett in Hernando. I love the fact that the decision was based off of how fast they could run in the shoe. Not color, style, comfort, or any other logical reason. Just by how fast they could run. And let me be the first to tell you, they are fast. They were fast in Hibbet Sports, fast on the sidewalk leaving the store, fast in AnnOlivia's, fast in the driveway, and finally fast down the hall at home. Is it bedtime yet??

The logic kids have and the way they understand things is unreal sometimes. Most of the times it's funny and sometimes I am just glad they don't understand life. About two weeks ago, Laiken started telling me about her best friend's dad, "is going to work really far away for forever." She said the little girl and her mom are so sad. And she could not come over to play b/c she had to spend time with her dad before he leaves. She also told Laiken that he wants to take her dog with him, but she didn't want him to. I was pretty sure Laiken did not have all of the facts. Today Laiken told me that the girls parents are "versed". I asked her what "versed" means. Laiken said it means your dad has to go work and stay a long time somewhere else for a long time and you have to go, "stay at your dad's" alot. Laiken said, "but I don't even know what that means...go stay at your dad's." I want to explain to her what being "divorced" means, but I am not sure what the little girls knows either. I feel sad for her and her family. I hope it ends differently for them.

Laiken is so sweet and tender hearted. Last night we were watching "Mars Needs Mom's". The martians were stealing Earth's moms and killing them. (It's a kid movie and not bad at all. I loved it!) When they came to the part were the little boy was trying to save his mom, he was seconds away from being too late and it seemed she might not make it. Laiken teared up and sighed. It broke her heart that the little boy may lose his mom. But he saved her and all ended well.

My kids melt my heart daily. Just the other day I was grabbing Jack and holding him really tight saying, "I will NEVER let you go. I want to hold you FOREVER!". Then I would grab Laiken and say the same. They squealed and I tickled them, squeezed them so tight and kept saying I would never let them go. They both kept running off. The last time I let go, Jack jumped back in my arms and said, "squeeze me again mommy, I want you to hold me FOREVER!''

Really??

Laiken watched the first half of " Gone with the Wind" with me. She was talking about Scarlett later and said, "You know...the lady in the southern belle movie that was mean to all the boys?" I said, "Scarlett?" She said, "Yeah, she was pretty, but she was really mean to all of those boys, right?" LOL Laiken is so observant. She doesn't miss anything!

Jack, oh my sweet, funny Jack. He came in from outside, "Mama!! Look what is in  my rain boot! A really big green cricket." He comes closer. "No Jack, that is a grasshopper. He is dead." Jack said, "Oh." So then he fills up a little cup with water and puts the dead grasshopper in it. He comes back inside every few minutes to check on him. After a few times, he picks up the cup and shows it to Laiken. He says, "You know if you put a dead cricket in water he comes back to life." He walks towards the open back door and holds the cup up. "And sunlight helps too. And you can see his green more." We didn't say anything and Jack walked outside. After the door shut, Laiken said, "He sure tells alot of stories that aren't true." Jack comes back in later with his cup and goes to the bathroom. "I am gonna wash him now." I went in the bathroom to check on the "mess in progress". He said, " I am going to name my dead cricket Brooklyn." As I am writing this, He and Brooklyn (in a cup of water, freshly bathed) are still hanging out. Doing stuff together.

My Beauty Queen

 My Laiken. She is growing up so fast. As she grows, I am becoming a spectator in her life. When she gets home from school, she tells me stories about her day. Instead of being a part of her day, I get to hear about it. She tells me who she sat by at lunch, who she played with in the playground, and things she is learning. She is already learning to read. She is always happy when I pick her up.

For the past  year or so, Laiken has begged me to be in a beauty pageant. "Toddler and Tiaras" is one of her favorite TV shows. Even though she wanted to do them, I still put it off as long as I could. I love my kids, and I don't really like the idea of them being judged by someone. Hernando High School's TigerFest hosted their first beauty pageant this weekend. Laiken came home from school, and asked to be in it. So I gave in....

During the summer Laiken attended VBS at our church. She had terrible stage fright at the program. Even with 50 other kids on stage with her, she cried the whole time. I was not sure what to expect today. She was amazing. She walked out on stage like a professional. I was so pleased with her performance, and she seemed to be enjoying the whole thing. For crowning, the judges would announce the title, then the girl's name, and then the little girl whose name was called raised her hand. I watched my Laiken's little sweet innocent face, each time a title and little girl's name was called. I could see she was dying to hear her name. It was not called, and yet she kept on smiling. As she walked off stage, I met her in the back. I scooped her up in my arms and she melted, "Mama, I didn't get ANYTHING." My heart broke and she sobbed. I consoled her and gave her a few "you can't always be the winner" speeches. She was ok, and we enjoyed the crafts vendors and games at Tigerfest. We came home and watched a movie. She cried again. I consoled again. This evening I cried. Trey consoled me. It just hurts to know she is hurting. “Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.”
Elizabeth Stone

But the good news is that she hasn't given up! Tonight, we played pageants. I announced her winning over and over. I awarded prizes, sashes, and crowns all night to my very own beauty queen! (The trophy is from her first pageant when she was 18 months old.)

JACK

I told Jack to get in the bath, and he did. When I came to check on him a few minutes later...he looked like this.

My Jack hates vegetables. Really, he hates them. He does not eat any. Not one. So today I made spaghetti for lunch, it's his favorite. While I was making it, I had a great idea to add in a little extras. 1 squash baby food, 1 green pea, and 1 green bean. HOORAY for hidden veggies! Jack gobbled up every bite! (The best part is that you could not taste the extras at all. Really, it may have been my best spaghetti ever.) Quick, I need 10 more Italian "saucy" recipes!

Jack loves Brynley. Sometimes he loves her so much that I have to keep a close eye on him, for Brynley's sake.

His newest obsession: Wearing more than one pair of pants to bed. This was the first night he did it. He is telling me that he has 2 pants on. Not sure where this one came from. We are up to 3 pairs a night now. And yes, all at once, over each other. A phrase from my wise mother comes to mind, "Pick your battles." Yep, this one is not worth waging a war."You dressed yourself, Yay! Goodnight, Sleeptight Son."

Another conversation heard between Laiken and Jack this morning.

L: Mama, there is a mosquito in the truck! Get it out! Mama, don't let it bite Brynley, she will scream!!! Oh no, Where did it go??? Jack! Jack! Is there a mosquito back there???

J:A bosquito??

L:A Mosquito.

J:A big bosquito or a little one?

L:Little.

J:One that bites and sucks out your blood??

L:Do you see one?

J:(looks around) Uhhhh, No.

I haven't blogged in so long. I have so much to catch up on. I am going to try a few times a week to upload pics from all of the events that have happened lately. I am also going to highlight each child in between pictures. Jack cracks me up all the time, so I started with him.

Lessons on Life

Some of the best conversations can be heard at the dinner table. We talk about everything under the sun. Last week was VBS and we talked alot about Jesus and Heaven. Tonight, while cooking supper, the kids were coloring at the table. They were all making star charts, which they learned from me. I always have rule lists and reward charts. Dylan was making his chart and announcing names when he was writing them. Laiken and Jack start screaming about which color they want their name in. So both little ones are screaming what they want to Dylan, who is doing his best to sort out requests and make them happy. Dylan: Okay, I am writing Jack's name. Jack: I want green! I want green! I want green! Laiken: I want pink! I want pink! I want pink! Laiken and Jack: I want green! I want pink! Dylan: Okay, Okay One at a time! Me: WOW! ISN'T HARD TO HEAR EVERYONE YELLING WHAT THEY WANT ALL AT ONE TIME? Dylan just grinned. Dylan:I am going to make red stars by my name. Jack: I want blue stars. Laiken: I want pink stars. Me:Supper is almost ready. Dylan: I am just going to make yellow stars for everyone. Me:ISN'T IT HARD TO ALWAYS DO WHAT EVERYONE WANTS? Laiken and Jack: Awwww I wanted blue. I wanted pink. Dylan:It's almost time to eat! It's faster this way. They are all going to be yellow! Me: SOMETIMES IT IS JUST FASTER AND EASIER TO TELL EVERYONE WHAT WE ARE HAVING OR DOING RATHER THAN LETTING EVERYONE CHOOSE. Dylan:I don't know how you do it. And for anyone who knows Dylan.... The other day I told him that I cannot wait until he has kids. He asked why. I said because you feel you are so oppressed and never get to do or have anything you want. And you will let your kids do WHATEVER they want and you will let them eat WHATEVER they want. And one day you will come to me crying (in my best crying, whining voice) and say, "Mama, my kids are so bad!! I don' t know what to do!" And I will smile and say, "Give them rules, boundaries, structure, and routine like I gave you. And cut back on the sugar, it makes kids crazy." He laughed! I hope he proves me wrong one day. I hope he understands it all.

The things that make us laugh and cry.

Tonight Jack was jumping up and down screaming, "Yes! I did it! Whoo-Hoo! Mama, give me a high five!" He was in complete celebration. So I said, "Jack, what did you do?" Jack pulled on the waist band of his pants and said, "The tag is in the back!"

Dylan has had loose tooth for weeks. Finally, the other day he pulled it out. When he got home from school, he handed me a paper that read, "Is the tooth fairy real? Circle yes or no." I turned around, trying to not laugh, and said, "Yes, of course. What do you think?" He tells me things the kids have been saying at school about it. I talked to Trey about telling him the truth because he is 10 years old. So that night I told him the truth about all of it. As I was telling him and watching his face, I teared up. I felt horrible, almost like I was ripping his childhood away from him. He was sad, but he didn't cry. The more we talked about it, the better he seemed. Ever since that conversation I get random questions. "Who eats the cookies?" "How does he get the tooth without waking me up?" "Who moved the elf?" The magic is gone. I just hope he can keep from spoiling the secret with the other 3.

I love being a Mommy!!!!!!!!!!

Too much fun??

This...

always... leads to....

this.

I love a quiet afternoon!

Have you ever wondered where your face is located?

Jack and Laiken sit next to each other in carseats in the third row of the Durango. Most of the time I cannot hear what they are saying, but yesterday on the way to Sam's I caught this conversation. L-Jack get that long hair off of your face. J-(rubs his hair with both hands) L-Not that hair. There is a long hair hanging off of your face. J-What face? L-Your face by your mouth! J-What face? L-Your lower face! J-(rubbing his hair with both hands again) L-Not that hair. ITS ON YOUR... Oh, it fell off. It sounded like a preschool version of "Who's on First"!!!

My Sweet Pea Brynley being the little angel she is....ya know that's only because she doesn't talk yet. I will cherish every moment of this first year!

Brynley's first smile! and a busy weekend

Brynley is getting so big. She is 5 weeks old and starting to smile. The picture shows the beginnings of a smile. I wish I would have captured the whole thing because it was so big and cute! Between her new cooing and new smiles, (in the words of Blayne) "I could just eat her up with spoon!" Blayne used to always say that about Laiken. I love that expression.

We had a busy, busy weekend for sure! Baseball started this weekend with our first tournament. It was the first tournament of the season, but literally it was our first ever. I was shocked that there was a game Friday, 2 Saturday, and the possibility of 3 Sunday. Wow, that is alot of ball games. We won Friday and both Saturday. Dylan played awesome. He was hitting good and getting runs in. Trey was able to come home this weekend to watch the games. We are so proud of Dylan. He did a great job and had alot of fun. Sunday's game was a tough one and the boys were not able to pull off a win. So instead of 3 games, we had just one. I felt bad for Dylan and the team, but I was glad that gave us the opportunity to spend time with Trey at the park before he left to go back to Oklahoma.

I am very excited about my hair bow business Little Belles and Bows. I have been very busy and making contact with new customers every week. I am hoping to stay busy and get even busier. With the money I have been making, I was able to get a new camera this week. It is a Canon Power Shot. I love it! It takes amazing pictures. I imagine I will wear the kids out with my constant "Say Cheese, Big Smiles!" Once I find a free minute to download this weekends pictures, I will be sure to post some of them here.

We love the beach!

Our first trip to Mom and Dad's new Beach House in Gulfshores, AL! We had a blast! The kids loved the beach. Especially the sand, which they felt the adults were not enjoying near enough. They were sure to share the sand with us every chance they got, by ways of kicking, throwing, and shoveling sand in our direction (but only when we weren't looking). Trey's mom came to stay a day with us at the beach. The kids love seeing her. Gran Gran stood for over an hour with Jack on the porch counting bullfrogs in the lagoon. She loves playing with the grandkids and watching them play.

Uncle Brian, Landon, and Payton stayed at the beach house too, along with Mom and Leigh. Uncle Brian was a life saver the whole trip. He hauled our two tons of beach stuff on and off the beach, took kids in the water to play, caught fish for the kids, took them crab hunting at night, and even gave me a private session of his "Grocery Shopping Savings 101". (I should have been taking notes on that last one). Mom and Dad's house is amazing! It is so gorgeous, and spacious. The bottom floor is wall to wall french doors with an amazing view of the bay. The community they live in is so beautifully landscaped and seemed to be filled with friendly people. The right side of the porch that faces the lagoon (and it is gorgeous too, filled with bullfrogs and lily pads) has a gated part that was probably for the past owner's dog to stay in. After a few jokes about locking the kids in the gate, we came up with the idea of building a fort for the kids to play in. With the gate already there, all it needs is a canopy like the one you see over swing sets. I know my kids and they would love it!

This is Brynley sleeping in a tent at the beach.

This is Brynley sleeping on MawMaw's bed at the beach house.

This is Brynley sleeping on MawMaw's bed again, at the beach house.

Brynley loved Gulfshores. Mostly she loved sleeping at Gulfshores.

The First Week

Trey was given two additional days off to spend with Brynley. The guys marked it on the calendar in the office at work for everyone to see. Notice the pink flowers and "Maternity" leave. How cute! Brynley had jaundice the first week. She was put on a Billiblanket to help bring down her levels. She looked like a little gloworm in her bassinet. After a few days her levels should have come down, but for some reason they were staying high. "Some Reason" really means "Jack". At birth he was given the monumental task of creating a daily challenge for me. He keeps me on my toes for sure. On two different occasions I noticed that the dial on the front of her billiblanket machine had been turned all the way down from maximum to minimum. Once I saw this and was able to keep it on high, her jaundice levels came down to a normal level. Thanks Jack, we were out of network for the blanket and you just cost me about $300!!! God love him! I also wanted to thank everyone for doing so much for me. I have had family come over and clean my house, help with the kids, and cook us suppers. It was wonderful to have the support from everyone. I also want to thank my good friend Hillary for bringing us a delicious supper/breakfast. It was so sweet for her to think of us, and not only to bring Tetrazzini, garlic bread, and pie....But she brought cinnamon rolls for the next morning too!!! Thanks so much Hillary, we all enjoyed it very much! Trey was jealous, and I have to say he really did miss out. I was thoroughly impressed! So I have to close with one more story about my sweet angel baby Jack. Mom came over one day to help us out with something. I was nursing the baby in the living room, so I sent Laiken to open the garage. I hear it start to go up and Mom starts yelling, "Stop it, stop it, stop it". I run out to see what is going on. Jack had grabbed the bottom of the garage as it was going up. He was hanging on the garage door all the way up! When it finally stopped, he was hanging in mid air, clutching the garage for dear life (my baby is scared of heights). When Mama saw him go up she ran up the driveway (which has a really steep incline) and saved him. I am not sure what was funnier, Jack riding the garage all the way up or Mama (who has knee trouble) running/hobbling up the steep drive way to save him. I can laugh about it now, but it gave me a heart attack the day it happened. Just another day in Paradise.....

My Sweet Pea!!

Brynley Ryan Walker

2 days old

2 weeks old

It's amazing how much you can love someone you just met. She is my Sweet Pea and definitely makes my heart smile!

Daddy's Boy

This is an old picture of Trey and Jack together. They are peas in a pod. Tonight, at the dinner table, Jack and Trey had the most precious conversation I have ever heard them exchange. It was so sweet that I actually teared up.

Trey- "Jack eat your deer meat. It will make you grow up big and strong like a Superhero."

Me-"Or like Daddy."

Jack (stood up in his chair looking upset)-"I don't want to be a Superhero. I want to be BIG and STRONG...like DADDY!"

It was priceless. Parenthood can be so challenging and at times so difficult. But it is moments like this that remind us how rewarding and priceless being a parent can be also. I love being a Mommy! I am so blessed to have such a wonderful family!

These are a few of my favorite things....

These are a few of my favorite things about motherhood.... -naptime...everyday... -Laiken says "mommy I don't just love you one times, I love you alot of times" -Jack takes his finger out of his nose, kisses me goodnight, and then puts his finger in his mouth -we make it through a full day of running boring errands and no one has a melt down -3 AM when Jack comes to snuggle in our bed -running to the bathroom at 8:45 in the morning only to discover your sweet baby boy has locked and shut all of the bathroom doors in the house and the doorknobs have to be removed before you can "go" -the 10th and even the 20th time the babies get back out of the bed for water, "I have to tell you something", or "Laiken is waking me up!" -walking into a room and seeing all 3 kids playing something together, with no arguing or fighting. Or all 3 laying on the loveseat together watching tv. -playing tball with the kids in the backyard when it is 40 degrees outside, even if its only for about 30 minutes b/c we haven't been outside in so many days. -Jack jumping up and saying "thank you for buying this for me" to our neighbor who just brought the kids presents -the way a kiss stops tears and makes them smile -all of the "I love you's", hugs, kisses, snuggles. And that was just a small portion of last week! Happy Monday All!